Tuesday, June 27th, 2017
As an attorney practicing in family law, I am frequently amazed at the number of people placing stock in what I call ‘bar room advice.’ Bar room advice is where someone heard from a friend who’s uncle told him at one time in the bar…. You can fill in the blank as to some of the things that might be said on divorce or child support. I’d chuckle on some of the wild family law ‘advice’ given in a bar, if it wasn’t so sad that individuals were throwing away chances to make real, positive changes through the Court system. Here are a few examples:
Bar Advice Statement: “What does it matter. I heard the guy never gets the kids in a divorce.” NOT TRUE. Men frequently get either joint custody or even sole custody of the child. The Courts generally see it in the best interests of the child that both parents are involved with their child(ren). There are actually presumptions, that barring something extraordinary, each parent should have some time with a child, including overnights.
Bar Advice Statement: “I know my wife is going to rake me over the coals financially.” NOT TRUE. There are many factors in a divorce on how marital assets are distributed between husband and wife, as well as how alimony or spousal maintenance is decided. The Courts will give a fair look at both sides, regardless of sex.
Bar Advice Statement: “My husband is a big shot in town. He knows everyone. He’s just going to drill me in the ground and get everything. My friend’s mom told me at the bar that’s how it goes.” NOT TRUE. The Courts go to great extremes to maintain objectivity and an unbiased view. If a judge feels they would be biased by a close friendship, they will generally take themselves off the matter. The idea that someone has the judge “in their back pocket” is great for primetime television, but not reality.
If you are facing a tough time on a family law matter, don’t plan your future on bar room advice. Consult an attorney to see where you stand. Contact us today.
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